but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
