I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
