About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
