I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
