So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
