bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
