**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Everything about him screamed your future.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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