We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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