do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
