Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
