I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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