I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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