I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize