Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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