I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
