if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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