Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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