David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
wow bdsm is so cute
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
