I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize