Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
