Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
