He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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