Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
