There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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