i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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