ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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