What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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