hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize