I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
