...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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