I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
