That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
