i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
