I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize