before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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