I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just threw up on my dentist
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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