highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
