were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
