Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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