Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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