but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I understand Curling. That high.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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