Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
