dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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