i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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