im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
