you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
