Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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