Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize