OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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