I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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