Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
