mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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