we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
