I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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