he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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