dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
