He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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