Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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