The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
