She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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