ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
